Granny's Boyfriends

MY NEW BOYFRIENDS !!!
 

I am seeing 5 gentlemen (give or take) every day!. 

As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go to see John. 

Then Arthur Ritis shows up & stays the rest of the day. 
He doesn't like to stay in one place very long so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I'm really tired & very glad to go to bed with Earl Grey. 

What a life! 
Oh, yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer; 
or whatever his name is. I forget ! 

and I'm thinking of calling JACK DANIELS, Captain Morgan or JOHNNY WALKER to come over and keep me company. 

Now remember: 
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.....the closer it gets to the end, 
the faster it goes. 
So have fun, think 'good thoughts' only, 
learn to laugh at yourself, and 'count your blessings!!! 
  
 

  
 

Ass Study

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY: 


There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting. 


30% of women think their ass is too fat, 


10% of women think their ass is too skinny, 


The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn't trade him for the world...

An Italian Boys Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl"

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father.  I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest signs in frustration.
"You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads."