Golf Jokes / Caddy's View Point

What the Caddy Said (or wished he had said):

Golfer:  Well I have never played this badly before.
Caddy:  I didn't realize you had played before sir.

Golfer:  Caddy do you think is is a sin to play golf on a Sunday?
Caddy:  The way you play sir, it's a sin any day of the week.

Golfer:  I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course.
Caddy:  Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth.

Golfer:  I've played so badly all day, I think I'm going to drown myself in that lake.
Caddy:  I doubt you cold keep your head down that long sir.

Golfer:  That can't be my ball, caddy.  It looks far too old.
Caddy:  It's been a long time since we started sir.

Golfer:  Please stop checking your watch all the time.  It's distracting!
Caddy:  This isn't a watch sir, it's a compass.

Golfer:  Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron.
Caddy:  Eventually.

Golfer:  You've go to be the worst caddy in the world!
Caddy:  I doubt it.  That would be too much of a coincidence!

Golf for the Aged

Arthur is 90 years old and has played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.

“That’s it,” he tells his wife, “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I’ve hit the ball I can’t see where it goes.”

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea.  As they sit down together, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?”

“That’s no good,” Authur sighs. “Your brother is 103 years old.  He can’t help.”

“He may be 103,” his wife says, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So the next day Arthur sets off for the golf course with his brother-in-law in tow.  He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.  He turns to the brother-in-law.

“Did you see the ball?”

“Of course I did!” the brother-in-law replies. “I have perfect eyesight.”

“So where did it go?” Arthur asks..

“I don’t remember.”