Noah's Ark

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in South Africa, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
 
 Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
 
He gave Noah the plans, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
 
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah sweeping in his yard - but no Ark.
 
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
 
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Metro Council for a decision.

Then ESKOM demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
 
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees because the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset the balance of the local ecological system.
 
I tried to convince them that I needed the wood to save us all from extinction - but no go!
 
When I started gathering the animals, the SPCA prosecuted me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
 
The traffic authorities said it would take six months after completion of the ark to plan a route to the sea. I told them also that the sea would be coming to my back yard. They threatened to have me committed.
 
Then the Department for Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until I had arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
 
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the BEE group on how many affirmative action persons I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
 
The Department of Interior Affairs has insisted that I provide them with a list of the people who want to work so that they can check that they are not from the non designated group. COSATU say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
 
To make matters worse, SARS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
 
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. "
 
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
 
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
 
"No," said the Lord. "The SA Government has beaten me to it."

Find a Laugh - A Great Answer to an Impossible Question

Little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you
the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.  Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.  He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

The father says,
'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies,
'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.
The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit….