Feeding The Canibals

A big mining company recently hired several cannibals.  

"You are  all part of our team now", said the HR manager during the  welcoming
briefing.  "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to  the  cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other  employees".

The cannibals promised they would  not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very  hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our Admin girls  has disappeared.  Do any of you know what happened to  her?"

The cannibals all shook their heads indicating  "no".

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to  the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the Admin chick?"

A  hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You  fool!!!!!  For four weeks we've been eating Managers  and Supervisors  and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually works!!!!"

Finance For Non-Financial Managers - Global Financial Systems

 A NAMIBIAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You make biltong...

 AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
 * You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

 A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You go on strike because you want three cows.
 * They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime' and steal someone
else's cows and shoot their owner.

 A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
 * A farmer has two cows.
 * You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the international
community to supply more.

 A JAPANESE CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
 * You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market
them World-Wide.

 A GERMAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

 A BRITISH CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * Both are mad.

 AN INDIAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You pray to them for food.

 AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
 * You break for lunch.

 A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You count them and learn you have five cows.
 * You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
 * You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
 * You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

 A SWISS CORPORATION
 * You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
 * You charge others for storing them.

 A CHINESE CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * You have 300 people milking them.
 * You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.

 AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
 * You have two cows.
 * The one on the left is kinda cute...