Some Silly Funnies For the Day

Wedding Dress, Size 8.
Worn Once By Mistake.

Every Wife is a 'Mistress" for her husband.
"Miss" For One Hour & "Stress" For the Rest of the 23 Hours..!.

There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn't Understand A Woman
Before Marriage AndAfter Marriage.

Wife : I Will Die.
Husband : I Will Also Die.
Wife : Why Will You Die ?
Husband : Because I Can't Bear That Much Happiness..!.

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, And I Didn't.

Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet
Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In
& Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.

Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women?
Because When They Arrive, They're Wet And Wild, But
When They Go, They Take Your House And Car..

Text Messaging
Husband Sends The Following Message To His Wife
My Love,
If You're Sleeping, Send Me Your Dreams.
If You're Smiling, Send Me Your Smile.
If You're Crying, Send Me Your Tears.
I Love You.
Wife Texted Back :
I'm In The Toilet,
What Should I Send You?

The Woman Applying For A Job In A Florida Lemon Grove
Seemed Way Too Qualified For The Job.
"Look Miss," Said The Foreman, "Have You Any Actual Experience In picking lemons?"
"Well, As A Matter Of Fact, Yes!" She Replied.
"I've Been Divorced Three Times."

Whisky Is A Brilliant Invention.
One Double And You Start Feeling Single Again.

A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can
Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me
The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You."
The Man Says Without Hesitation,
"I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife."

Husband Searching Keywords On Google `How To Tackle Wife?`
Google Search Result, `still Searching`.

A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me.
Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men.
In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her!
I'm Going Crazy.
What Do You Think I Should Do?"
"Relax," Says The Doctor,
"Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down.
Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?"

Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife's Photo And Not Even A Single One Hitting The Target..
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : "Honey What Are You Doing..
Husband: "MISSING YOU"..

A Man Goes To See The Rabbi.
"Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
what should I do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers,
"Tell You What. Let Me Talk To Her, I'll See What I Can Find Out And
I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says,
"Well I Spoke To Her For Three Hours.
You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said "Yes"
The Rabbi Replied,
"Take The poison".