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Yup, some people can’t handle the truth!

 

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." 
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. 
He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. 
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." 

Guess where I am now

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Mario Balotelli jokes Stephan El Shaarawy AC Milan vs Sassuolo 2014 HD

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Just Who Is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?              We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't  know Jack Schitt!'    Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.     Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.     Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and  owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.    In  turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious  couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt,  Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip  Schitt.    Against  her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a  high school  dropout.    After  being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe  Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She  was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a  rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.    Two  of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were  inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.    The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.    He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian  bride, Pisa Schitt.     Now  when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you  can  correct  them.     Sincerely,     Crock O. Schitt    NOTE:  PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A  LAUGH.    REMEMBER:  IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT

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New Years Funnies for You

Here is some good new years jokes for you, just ready for this time of the year.

Resolved to laugh into the new year? Here's who's cracking jokes ...

http://www.twincities.com Wed, 25 Dec 2013 04:45:39 GMT

If New Year's Eve is all about having fun, you can't go wrong by taking in some live comedy as part of the celebration. Here are some suggestions to get your laugh on as you usher in the New Year with a selection of shows ...

Read more ...

I really liked the one with the lady on the plane.

A New Low: David Arquette Spends Christmas Night Telling Crude ...

http://radaronline.com Mon, 30 Dec 2013 11:21:54 GMT

The notorious party animal was spotted late-night at The Comedy Store on Christmas night in Hollywood telling vulgar and crude masturbation jokes, ... ... I learned this when I was like 8, 9-years-old,” Arquette tells the crowd.

Read more ...

Okay, so maybe the David Arquette ones were a bit uncalled for.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!