Spanish Lesson - Classic Find a Laugh

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Send this to all the smart women you know...and all the men that have a sense of humor.

AAADD

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,

and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,

but first I need to push thePepsi aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,

and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'll try to get some help for it,

but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Grandmas don't know everything!

A word of caution for grandma's & grandma's to be!!!!

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,

'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'

Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,

'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds.

And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.'

Find a Laugh - Survivor for the Ladies

Do not read this one if you are a man - unless a very liberal one, this laugh might offend you!

THE

NEXT SURVIVOR

SERIES

Six married men

will be dropped on an island

with one car

and 3 kids each

for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports

and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must

take care of his 3 kids;

keep his assigned house clean,

correct all homework,

complete science projects,

cook,

do laundry,

and pay a list of 'pretend' bills

with not enough money.

In addition,

each man

will have to budget enough money

for groceries each week.

Each man

must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives,

and send cards out on time - no emailing.

Each man must also take each child

to a doctor's appointment,

a dentist appointment

and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and

inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes

for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for

decorating his own assigned house,

planting flowers outside, and keeping it

presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television

when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,

adorn

themselves with jewellery,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,

the men will have to endure severe

abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,

have extreme, unexplained mood swings

but never once complain or slow down

from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings

and church,

and find time at least once to spend

the afternoon at the park or a similar

setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night

and in the morning,

feed them,

dress ,

brush their teeth and

comb their hair

by 7:30 am.

A test will be given

at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will be required to know

all of the following information:

each child's

birthday,

height, weight,

shoe size, clothes size,

doctor's name,

the child's weight at birth,

length, time of birth,

and length of labor,

each child's favorite color,

middle name,

favorite snack,

favorite song,

favorite drink,

favorite toy,

biggest fear,

and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...

he still

has enough energy

to be intimate with his spouse

at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,

he can play the game over and over and over

again for the next 18-25 years,

eventually earning the right

to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing,

share this with as many females as

you think will get a kick out of it and

as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don't send it back to me....

I'm going to bed.

Good Night!