Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office

The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) decides to audit Grandad, and summons him to their  office. The auditor was not  surprised when Grandad showed up with his  lawyer. The auditor said, 'Well,  sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not  sure the ATO finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I  can prove it,' says Grandad. 'How about a  demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a  moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead..' Grandad says, 'I'll bet  you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own  eye.' The auditor thinks a  moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass  eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll  bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other  eye.' Now the auditor can tell  Grandad isn't blind, so he takes the bet Grandad removes his  dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now  realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandad's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or  nothing?' Grandad asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way  this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandad stands beside the  desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he  can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he  pretty much urinates all over the auditor's  desk. The auditor leaps with  joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandad's own lawyer  moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the  auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the  lawyer. 'This morning, when Grandad told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come  in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!' Don't  Mess with Old People!