Laugh In South Africa

"Hey Sipho! I have a cow for you for just R500!"
"E yoh, Bongani! I'll take it - you can bring it to me tomorrow!"
The next day: "Sorry Sipho, but the cow died last night."
"Hauw... so ok then. Just give me my money back."
"Sorry Sipho I did already spent that money.."

Eish, so ok then. Just bring me the dead cow." So Bongani brought the
dead cow to Sipho the next morning.
A few weeks later Bongani bumped into Sipho and asked him what he did with the dead cow:
"You won't believe it, Bongani! I made a raffle for the cow, I sold
251 tickets for R5 each! I made a profit of R750! But I didn't tell anyone the cow was dead."
"Yoh! and the people, didn't they complain?"
"Eish! only the guy which won! so, I gave him back his R5 and he was
happy!

Is It You or the Wine Talking?

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,
"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."

Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?"

She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."..