How to sell toothbrushes ...

HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

   The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.

      Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

      Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

      "Very good," said the teacher.

      Little Jenny was next:

      "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

      "Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

      Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

      The teacher held her breath ...

      Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

      "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

      "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

      "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

      "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

           They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog sh1t!"

      Then I would say, "It is dog sh1t.  Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

      "I used the governmental approach of giving you something sh1tty for free, and then making you pay to get the sh1tty taste out of your mouth."

I let my son see my payslip . . .

This is what my son thought of my payslip.

Einstein on Find a Laugh - This is one clever parrot!

British Pee Break

The Shoe Box - Find a Laugh with this Precious Joke

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.

They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.

They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little

old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had

cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but

one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said

She would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took

down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was

in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls

and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,'

she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage

was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you,

I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears.

Only two precious dolls were in the box.

She had only been angry with him two

times in all those years of living and loving.

He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money?

Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

Prison Break

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.   told him it was in the bathroom.  Be strong, honey. I love you, too."